The Shy Retirer

Home again

I returned from Seattle today, which explains the lack of posts. I tried to post from my hotel room, but the wireless signal was never strong enough to last, so every post I wrote was deleted. Because saving things is for whimps.

I flew out on Thursday morning, after a truly awesome Arcade Fire show the night before. The flight to Seattle was annoying just because they changed by gate about five times before the plane actually took off, but once we were in the air everything was fine. When I got to Seattle I decided to pretend like I was a big city girl- always a stretch- and to take the bus to the hotel. The bus taking even required a transfer, but I managed to get to the hotel in one piece.

I did met an new friend on the bus. He was about my age and he was training to be a chef. I have never in my life met someone who was so committed to being a stereotype before in my life. He talked about, “smoking herb,” things that, “harshed his mellow,” where the best skate parks were, and he was drinking the really awful smelling sugary hootch from a bag. I think he used the word bro totally unironically. He wanted to come to Utah to work as a chef at one the resorts and snowboard all winter, but frankly, I would never trust any chef who drinks such crappy booze.

As for the rest of Seattle, well it was alright. The first night I hiked over to the mall and bought make-up, ate yummy kabab, and walked over to Trader Joes. The second day I went to class and had dinner with some friends at a seriously yummy Brazilian restaurant. The drinks were especially yummy. Lime and vodka is always yummy.

This morning I went to class (Children Lit) which was really interesting. I think that I am going to like that class a lot more then I originally assumed. After class I basically took a cab straight to the airport where I came home to snow and freezing temperatures. Seattle weather seemed almost temperate to what I came home too. But at least the heat is now working.


The whole thing of it is….

Oh, this post is certainly sneaking in under the wire! But, since I don’t have to go to work in the morning I can stay up crazy late, maybe even until 1 am! Because that is just the kind of wild girl I am. 

I have tomorrow off because I am off to Seattle on Thursday to start the new school year (quarters are so odd) and I needed a buffer day. Also, the Arcade Fire are playing tomorrow and I really feel like I need a full day to prepare. Everyone I know is going to the concert, lots of friends who don’t know each other, which should make for some awkward moments. But, anything for the Arcade Fire.

As for today, I wish I had something interesting to talk about, but I would be stretching. I had delicious curry for dinner. I watched the Ken Burns documentary about WWII. This episode was about Monte Cassino, which made my dad really upset. I had no idea that my grandfather fought there, and that he suffered a horrible wound in his arm. The wound eventually caused the loss of two inches in his right arm. Things I would have learned had I ever actually met my grandfather, but such is life. Also, I learned that my grandfather thought Montgomery was a son of a bitch.

Il y a une bombe dans l’autobus!

It is really cold in my apartment right now. I have spent the past two hours trying to get my heater to turn on, but I have finally decided that I have to put on socks and just be cold. That moment when summer turns to fall (and in Salt Lake it always happens overnight) is always shocking; like jumping in a cold pool on a hot day. I even had to fish out the wool sweaters this morning. I love wool. It is the most amazing fabric on the planet. Wool is totally natural, fairly water resistant (for a natural fabric), super warm, and always fashionable.

The library has this list of staff members who speak another language and when I started at the library (in 1997) I was taking high school French. Finally, though, the unthinkable happened, and I got called to translate for a very confused elderly French woman. It has probably been six years since I have studied French and I felt so bad that I couldn’t be of more help. The lovely lady (Marie) was trying to email her children and find Mark Spragg books in French (this was understood after an hour of hand gestures and nodding). I was amazed by how much I comprehended what she was saying, but I was unable to respond. A friend described that sensation as, “the closest one can come to having a stroke without having a stroke,” which seems pretty accurate. What is even more bizarre is that the French lady was driving through the West by herself. She had arrived in Salt Lake and was then driving to Idaho Falls, then to Cody, Wyoming, then to Yellowstone, and back to Salt Lake. I could never quite figure out why an elderly French woman would be going to Idaho Falls by herself, but there you go.

And this is pretty much an example of my French skills…


Well, it seems that I don’t count Fridays and Saturdays in this blogging all the freaking time thing I am trying to do. This weekend has been pretty mellow. There was a family crisis on Friday that sent me into a tailspin- and by tailspin I mean that I spent all night eating ice cream and watching bad made for tv movies- but by Saturday I had snapped out of my funk. Saturday night was spent drinking cheap beer with some friends in a local dive bar followed by lots of fried food. This is not a good combination for me.

 In honor of my weekend here are the top five moments of the past three days

1. Fall is here! It has been raining for the past two days, especially today. The mountains are pink!

2. Newcastle won today! I was so happy about the win that I am not going to mention Michael Owen…

3. Watching three hours of Tim Gunn’s new show. I heart Tim Gunn.

4. Only having to spend 2 hours at the DMV on Friday instead of the estimated 3! The DMV on a Friday must be one of the most interesting places to hang out.

5. The new Rogue Wave album is awesome.

The Good Word

Alright, so it is day two of the month long blog thing and I am already resorting to a subject most of the population must finds deadly boring- illuminated manuscripts. The library I work at has an exhibit up that displays prints of the St. John’s Illuminated Bible, which is the first hand made Bible commissioned since…well, since the invention of the printing press. The Bible is commissioned by monks in Minnesota with most of the work being done by a calligraphy team in Wales.

 Here is the thing- I love illuminated manuscripts. I also love beautiful handwriting, and this manuscript is chock full of amazing vellum, hand made dyes, and sparkling gold. There are very cool illustrations of flora and fauna from Minnesota which makes the Bible feel American in an unexpected way. The Bible also contains illustrations (you know, the part that makes it illuminated) of Bible stories and the like. Some of these paintings are totally effecting, but others are kind of creepy. Creepy as only art born out of the seventies can be.

 In spite of the some of the off-putting pictures, making a Bible like this is pretty damn cool.

A new direction…

So, I think I have proven that I kind of suck at this whole blog thing. In order to try and make myself do something with my time, I hereby vow to write a post every day for the next month.  You know, because my life is freaking interesting. Really, I am the most fascinating person you have ever met.

Today’s post is going to be about Jose Mourinho being fired from the English football club Chelsea. Now, there will literally be eight million blogs who talk about this new, and frankly insane, development in English football. It is impossible for me to add anything relevant or insightful into the discussion. I will state on record, that Russian billionaires who use sport teams to launder money have balls of steel and are bat shit crazy. You can discover just how crazy by looking at the current Chelsea squad. It is impossible to play exciting football when your team consists entirely of amazing players who are getting paid far to much to sit on the bench. There is no common bond for the team, let alone a common language. And with a team full of crazy talented prima donnas you loose the power of the underdog. Never underestimate the power of the underdog.

I like…

Sometimes I feel like all I do is complain. To remind me that I am not always an angry girl with glasses, here is a list of stuff that makes me pretty happy.

1. The new Art Brut album- Seriously, this is making me ridiculously happy right now. I know it is hipster music, but it is hipster music with a sense of humor. My favorite line is, “people in love like to sit around and get fat.” Brilliant!

2. Ikea– Really, how did I live so long without the wonders of Swedish design? I can never go back to a time before Ikea now; I need bizarre tables that I have to put together myself. Thank God, the store is as far away as it is otherwise I would have a serious problem.

3. Basketball- Normally, soccer news gets me through a long work day, but this is an odd year, which basically means there is no soccer during the summer. Luckily, basketball is picking up the slack and entertaining me during a long work day. First off, the Rocky Mountain Review is summer league at it’s best. This year was particularly enjoyable, what with Kevin Durant showing up and that weird Ukrainian kid the Jazz drafted. Also, I scored some major father-daughter bonding moments by attending my fair share of game. Then if you add in a mob controlled ref, the basketball news is sure to last me until the end of August when the soccer starts up again.

4. Simon Schama’s Power of Art series on PBS- So nerdy! So dramatic! Please tell me more about William Turner!

5. Pioneer Day– One of the highlights of my summer! July 24th is the day celebrated by all Utahans as…a day to treasure our pioneer past? And it is not the interesting showdown at the O.K. corral past, instead it is the seagulls eating crickets to save the harvest past. Who cares why we do celebrate the day, all you need to know is that it starts with the best parade ever. And that the parade theme this year is Pioneer Courage — A Beacon to the World, how great is that?The parade is full of totally wild Mormon symbols and all you have to do is stand in the sun while all the crazy walks past! Shiny floats with Mormon temples! Women pulling handcarts in 100 degree heat! Beauty queens from random Salt Lake suburbs! I love this parade so much that there are almost no words to express the pure joy at the thought of attending. Yeeha, indeed.

Le Tour

This is my first non-school related blog so I feel like I am taking baby steps towards this hip new inter-web thing all the kids are talking about. I sure hope all the tubes that make up the inter-web are working and that I don’t make too much of an ass hat of myself in this blog.

Because this is the first post in a long line of posts that will never be read by anyone, I figured I should start off easy and talk about the Tour de France. Because nothing makes a girl popular like a long rant about the inherit greatness of Thor Hushovd. Really, you can rent me out for parties and I can give an oration about my pure, noble love for comentator Phil Liggett and my wish that Bob Roll will find himself in a hotel room covered in a dead hooker’s blood (surely, that would get him off the tv??).

I wasn’t always a Tour de France fan. I can honestly say that I kind of hate being on a bicycle. In fact, I kind of hate the men who feel the need to ride in the Tour. Mainly, because the riders often look like anorexic eight year old girls and that just can’t be healthy.

I watch the Tour because my dad started to make us watch the Tour. My brothers and I either had to find something interesting about it or go crazy ,and after 10 years I can’t not be interested in the event. The very least you can say about the Tour is that France is pretty. Watching the French countryside go by is kind of like watching the best kind of escapism on tv, you know, mind numbing, but not soul sucking like VH1. The best that can be said about the Tour is that the riders are in one of the most intense and grueling competitions around. And that the riders have funny names that stick in your head. Every year in June names that I haven’t thought of in exactly one year start popping up in my head. “Hum, I wonder what Alejandro Valverde is doing right now?” Which is always followed up with the thought, “why in the hell did I just think about Alejandro Valverde?? Who am I going to think of next? Jens Voight? Damn, did I just remember who Jens Voight is?”

 Really, I know way more about the Tour de France than is good for a girl.

Shaggy 2 Dope Redux

So, my worst fears were realized when the patron made this an official complaint.

I’m a librarian and I couldn’t find any info (i.e. reviews or anything of the sort) on this stupid band. Seriously, I spent two hours trying to find out info on Shaggy 2 Dope and his work in ICP and had an astonishing lack of success. This album has a gold record (at least according to the least helpful wikipedia page EVER), why didn’t anyone anywhere review it?

Can someone prove me wrong and find relevant information on the album FTFO by Shaggy 2 Dope? You know, in all of your spare time.

Shaggy 2 Dope

The library where I work has kind of a weird website. There are parts of the website that I loathe with a fiery passion, but there is one thing that I love. We have a section on our website where every month we post all of the new materials acquired by the library in all of the formats. Patrons looking to see what new movies the library bought in the last month can look through them on the website. Or if you would like to see all of the graphic novels that were added to the system you can just go to the website and start putting things on hold. It is awesome. Feel free to poke around  here.

So, where is the IF moment in this function? Well yesterday a regular patron came across this newly acquired cd

The patron just sent an email through the general query section of our website asking, “What is this doing in the library catalog?” with the link to the catalog. I don’t know if a more formal challenge of the cd will come to light, but I am a little worried about it.

I bought the cd for the library. I honestly didn’t even think about not buying the cd. It was a patron request and the lovely Shaggy 2 Dope is a member of the Insane Clown Posse, which is an always popular band. I just assumed it would check out three times and get stolen like the rest of the ICP stuff. I didn’t even remember the new acquisitions page.

In the end, what I really hope is that this one simple email doesn’t lead to more and more people looking over my shoulder and questioning what I am buying. There should be some oversight, but I am afraid the powers that be will take it a little too far.